My Allergy Season Remedy -- a Hazmat Suit and a Flamethrower

I tear up as I see the cherry trees in full pink and white blossom. Not out of any sentimentality, mind you. Allergy season arrives coating cars in yellow gunk, chasing thousands indoors and packing pharmacy isles with sufferers looking for the best and latest remedies. I walk outside to a long litany of symptoms.

I imagine being the boy in a bubble, at least dressed in a hazmat suit as I venture outside, surrounded by demon plants determined to destroy my sinus cavity with their exotic pollens. More often I picture myself attacking the lovely trees and fields of flowers with a powerful pollen eliminating flamethrower. My allergy remedies might be a tad extreme.

I really do wish people would consider their local surroundings (and my sinuses!); stop planting so many flowering plants that are not natural to the habitat solely for ornament. Stop the waste of grass lawns for an outdated symbol of affluence. As a start, it seems like that may reduce the pain of allergies a bit.

While my flamethrower solution certainly would be detrimental to humanity and the natural cycles of living things, I can dream — it's certainly fun to think about. Until then… pass along the pills, inhalers and sprays.