All That Glitters

All That Glitters. Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack™ Privatized Water™

 

All That Glitters Is Not Artisanal Gold — Pure Frack® Privatized Water™

The beauty of the once great Amazon can now be found in Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack® Privatized Water™! Sourced from the Brazilian rain forest, and available at your local grocer — sparking gold-mercury amalgam.

Pure Frack® will dazzle new-comers with the mesmerizing golden glow of oxidized iron, infused with minerals like arsenic, beryllium, copper, gold amalgam, mercury, and zinc. While our regular consumers will recognize the same rich flavors and familiar quality as from our Gold King and Appalachian mountain-top strip mines.

Our patent pending, low-profile SPILLProof™ cap with intuitive threaded system and robust seal ensures flow when you need it.

Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ is enhanced with minerals to taste.

All That Glitters. Brent Pruitt, illustration, 2016

Oh, Frack!

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