Go Greenwash. Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack™ Privatized Water™
Go Green! with Pure Frack™ Privatized Water™
Pure Frack® — A Legacy To Outlast Many Human Lifespans
As responsible corporate citizens of Earth®, we naturally care about the environment we live in, and the quantity of resources we are able to extract from it. Neztlū Waters® is sustainably profiteered through a steady surplus of Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ and the revenue generated from our GoGreen™ marketing initiatives. The tax incentives outweigh any moral obligations.
We promise to have learned from the mishaps at the Royal Dutch Shell Pipeline, British Petroleum Deepwater Horizon, Exxon Valdez, etc. Really.
From the petroleum-based plastic containers, to the wide variety of carcinogenic patented chemicals pumped deep into the watersheds and soil across the planet, Neztlu Waters® strives to protect natural resources for our own interest in sustainable profiteering. Each purchase you make contributes to a local landfill, even if not in your own backyard. Rest assured, even our new corn starch containers won’t biodegrade in your off-spring’s lifetime.
Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ is enhanced with minerals to taste.