• Meet Our Family Pure Frack® — Profiting from LGBQTI-PR, Extolling Traditional Values Each year during Pride™ Month, Neztlū Waters® celebrates capitalism with targeted promotions that arrange our product labels in such a way to mimic a rainbow. We switched our patent pending SPILLProof™ cap to pink from the Fight For Cancer™ campaign. And because it pleases focus groups with warm-fuzzy feelings, we even updated the Neztlū Waters® brand to include a rainbow covering our typical waste-water brown. Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack® has proudly supported Pride™ since it has become politically convenient, and helps to distract from our efforts to privatize water resources. Many thanks for your blind support of Neztlū Corporation, despite our core business principles that are aligned against the best interests of the human species. We hope that you will continue to ignore our ongoing support of political campaigns that restrict and even eliminate basic human rights and equal protections to our LGBQTI consumers. Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ is enhanced with minerals to taste.
    Pinkwash

    Pinkwash. Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack™ Privatized Water™

  • NEW Fallout Formula Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ Water is a precious resource, and should never be wasted. The survival of all life on this planet depends upon this single treasure. Just as no revenue opportunity should be squandered, neither should the natural resources of this earth escape exploitation. Carefully sourced direct from the Fukushima Prefecture, our latest Fallout Formula™ ships world-wide through the vigorous enterprising efforts of industry to profit from any man-made disaster. Fallout Formula™ is also available with our new low-profile SPILLProof™ cap with its intuitive threaded system, and robust seal that ensures flow whenever you need it. Neztlū Waters® delivers the same slurry-rich run-off with no unnecessary environmental impact statements [EISs], or harmful Corexit dispersant. Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ is enhanced with minerals to taste.
    Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack™ Fallout Formula

    Fallout Formula. Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack™ Privatized Water™

  • Join Us! Every Purchase Contributes to the Fight For Cancer™ Consumers feel great with every purchase of Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ supporting the Fight For Cancer™. It's easy! Just look for the pink *may not yet be linked to Cancer® label. Our research team has identified Pure Frack® Privatized Water no conclusive evidence to link the causation of, or contribution to, the formation of cancer cells in living organisms. Join us! Mail your cap to our marketing agency. Instead of donating directly to not-for-profit organizations dedicated to finding a cure for cancer, you too can have your personal information placed in a database to be mailed propaganda, similar to this, to encourage future purchases of Pure Frack® Privatized Water.™ A minute percentage of sales made from the reacquired petroleum-based plastic SPILLProof™ caps may be donated to the Fight For Cancer,™ after the deduction of administrative, production-run, and advertising costs. The Fight For Cancer™ is not affiliated with Neztlū Corporation or its subsidiaries. Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ is enhanced with minerals to taste
    For Cancer

    For Cancer. Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack™ Privatized Water™

  • Get Your Own. Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ Helps Ensure a Better Tomorrow. Neztlū Waters® has the monopoly on top-quality Pure Frack® water. No other company has worked harder to procure public land and water resources to secure and nurture investments, free from the constraints of regulation. Neztlū Corporation specializes in maximizing profits across each of our family of brands, including: Neztlū Motors® Neztlū Telecom® Neztlū Transit® Neztlū Police, Neztlū Industrial Waste Development® and more. Our globalization efforts have ensured the control of goods, services and labor to curtail livable wages and create labor dependence. To further defend Neztlü properties for the consumer, Neztlū actively contributes to state surveillance, state violence and political campaigns for considerable favor. With accountability neutralized, civil liberties are provided at a level the market will bear. Neztlū Corporation, despite a vast concentration of wealth and control, provides security and stability of power for the benefit of you — the consumer. Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ is enhanced with minerals to taste.
    Get Your Own

    Get Your Own. Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack™ Privatized Water™

  • Neztlū Corporation® Stands Staunchly Behind Eminent Domain Neztlū Waters® is the global leader in top-quality Privatized Water™ No other company has worked harder to procure public land and water resources to secure and nurture investments. Free from the constraints of regulation and taxation, we are able to provide public service to consumers in imparting consistent quality Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ with the acquisition of resources only made possible through eminent domain. Efforts of globalization have ensured our control of goods, services and labor to curtail livable wages, create labor dependence, and to further increase record-setting, multi-billion dollar profits. Neztlū Corporation defends our properties for the consumer. Neztlū actively contributes to state surveillance, state violence, and political campaigns for considerable favor to safe-guard against class action lawsuits, or human rights violations charges. Like all of our foodstuffs, it's only natural. After all, corporations are people too. Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ is enhanced with minerals to taste.
    Behind Eminent Domain

    Behind Eminent Domain. Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack™ Privatized Water™

  • Now with even more lead Tap Into the Taste that Stays with You… Neztlu Waters® Thick and nutritious, low-acidic and all natural lead-flavored Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ goes down smooth, and stays. Ignore the concerns of pipe corrosion. Avoid the hassle of inadequate and inappropriate sink filtration systems from a negligent, revenue-strapped government. Infrastructure investment is a notion of the past thanks to privatization and deregulation. Regardless of SDWA compliance, consistent quality can be assured. Neztlü Waters® Pure Frack® Privatized Water" provides a patent-pending SPILLProof" delivery system to by-pass public drinking fountains, wells and reservoir, direct to homes across the world. It tastes as good as coming from the tap, yet in colorful, small plastic containers. Try the 8 oz. container that conveniently fits most lunch boxes — satisfying kids of any size! Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ is enhanced with minerals to taste.
    Tap into the Taste

    Tap into the Taste that Stays with You. Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack™ Privatized Water™

  • Go Green! with Pure Frack™ Privatized Water™ Pure Frack® — A Legacy To Outlast Many Human Lifespans As responsible corporate citizens of Earth®, we naturally care about the environment we live in, and the quantity of resources we are able to extract from it. Neztlū Waters® is sustainably profiteered through a steady surplus of Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ and the revenue generated from our GoGreen™ marketing initiatives. The tax incentives outweigh any moral obligations. We promise to have learned from the mishaps at the Royal Dutch Shell Pipeline, British Petroleum Deepwater Horizon, Exxon Valdez, etc. Really. From the petroleum-based plastic containers, to the wide variety of carcinogenic patented chemicals pumped deep into the watersheds and soil across the planet, Neztlu Waters® strives to protect natural resources for our own interest in sustainable profiteering. Each purchase you make contributes to a local landfill, even if not in your own backyard. Rest assured, even our new corn starch containers won't biodegrade in your off-spring’s lifetime. Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ is enhanced with minerals to taste.
    Go Greenwash

    Go Greenwash. Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack™ Privatized Water™

  • An Outbreak of Good Taste! More Effective Dispersal of Water-born Illness than Typhoid Mary Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ redefines the ease of disease! More effective than a typhoid Mary, and more convenient than distributing smallpox blankets, Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack® provides access to quality water-born disease for global health organizations servicing impoverished or war-torn nations. Rely on the simple deniability each bottle of Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack® guarantees. Our patent pending, low-profile SPILLProof™ cap with intuitive threaded system and robust seal ensures flow when you need it. Harm to flora, fauna, mental health and quality of life — though regrettable — are susceptible to subjective conjecture and too malleable in quantifiable terms, and are therefore inconsequential. Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ is enhanced with minerals to taste.
    Outbreak

    Outbreak. Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack™ Privatized Water™

  • All That Glitters Is Not Artisanal Gold — Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ The beauty of the once great Amazon can now be found in Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack® Privatized Water™! Sourced from the Brazilian rain forest, and available at your local grocer — sparking gold-mercury amalgam. Pure Frack® will dazzle new-comers with the mesmerizing golden glow of oxidized iron, infused with minerals like arsenic, beryllium, copper, gold amalgam, mercury, and zinc. While our regular consumers will recognize the same rich flavors and familiar quality as from our Gold King and Appalachian mountain-top strip mines. Our patent pending, low-profile SPILLProof™ cap with intuitive threaded system and robust seal ensures flow when you need it. Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ is enhanced with minerals to taste.
    All That Glitters

    All That Glitters. Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack™ Privatized Water™

  • New SpillProof Cap™ Corexit FREE — NO EISs Improved Beverage Delivery System, Same Slurry-rich Taste! Our low-profile SPILLProof™ cap, intuitive threaded system, and robust seal ensures flow when you need it. Neztlū Waters® delivers the same slurry-rich run-off with no unnecessary EISs or harmful Corexit dispersant. Worry less about human-error or negligence. The Colonial Pipeline, BP Deepwater Horizon, Exxon Valdez, et al are days of the past. Our SPILLProof™ cap is guaranteed. Whether trucks, trains, ships, pipelines, coastal water rigs, coastal refinement plants or storehouses, you're covered! Additionally, count on the economic growth received due to emergency responders in an affected area, to help offset any beach tourism and marine resource extraction industry losses. Though regrettable, harm to flora, fauna, mental health and quality of life are susceptible to subjective conjecture and too malleable in quantifiable terms, and are therefore inconsequential. Pure Frack® Privatized Water™ is enhanced with minerals to taste.
    New SpillProof™ Cap

    New SpillProof™ Cap. Neztlū Waters® Pure Frack™ Privatized Water™